Excessively Diverted, Or: What The Hell Was I Supposed To Be Doing?

Slow cookers are fabulous things, aren’t they? I love that yesterday morning I was able to dump a pork roast and two bags of sauerkraut into mine, turn it on to low, and walk away from it and still have something that resembled a meal at dinnertime last night. I will spare you my rant about how much I HATE sauerkraut and how my love for my husband can be measured in my willingness to handle it once a year because, by God, you have to have sauerkraut on New Year’s Day (and my further rant about how my grandmother always drained the guck off and cooked it in whatever dark beer she could find, which was the most gross smelling thing ever) and just say that I’m glad I don’t have to deal with it for another year.

Everybody else was still in bed so I had a little time to kill before brunch. It helps me to make a To Do List because I am really easily distracted so I checked the calendar on my phone and, since it was a holiday, there was nothing pressing so I promptly forgot about doing a To Do List. Instead I checked email and read a few posts and then read the very patient reply from Obscura to my slightly inebriated question about a dubious piece of mythology my brain had scrambled (note to self: “Beoesomething” is not the same as “Boeotian,” no matter how close it looks after three drinks). That took about a half hour total.

Then I got a notification from Pintrest that one of my cousins created a new board called “Menu Planning.” Then I looked at the new board. Then I went down the rabbit hole that is Pintrest, specifically Pintrest boards that have to do with organization. Here’s the thing about organization: I am a Libra. I love for things to be beautiful and balanced and have about half a million things that I’m interested in so some form of keeping track of them is a Great Idea. However, I am also indecisive so prioritizing is an issue for me. I also live in fear that I’ll finally decide on The Organization System of My Dreams, set it up so that it’s balanced and beautiful, and then I’ll find another thing that I’m interested in and it’ll throw the whole system off and I’ll have to start all over again. I also have a sneaking suspicion that committing to a system is leveling up as an adult and I don’t know that I’m ready for that. I can still fit into my earrings from high school, after all, I’m not a grown up yet.

By the time I pulled myself out of my Wow-That’s-So-Pretty-I-Wonder-If-I-Can-Talk-DH-Into-Making-That-For-Me haze (note: this haze has in the past included a marimba and a mud room, neither of which I have because he knows if he waits a week I’ll change my mind) two hours later the kids had gotten themselves cereal and there was no point in making brunch. This is yet another reason I’m not certain that I’m really a grown up yet. So I decided that I really really need a To Do List and then I found another Pintrest board that featured a To Do List as a Brain Map instead of a numbered list and was totally enamored of not just the pinner’s map but also the whole concept of brain mapping so OF COURSE I had to look it up and that took another hour or so of surfing links, starting with Wikipedia. Then a couple of friends and I got to chatting, and this always happens in code that’s not quite text speak but kind of shorthand. You know shorthand, right? I think I remember some of it. I wonder if there’s a shorthand chart online…oh look, yes there is.

Then there was the Unfortunate Incident of the Silly Putty, with laughtrack provided by the live studio audience of Hey, Jessie! on Netflix. You really don’t want to know.

To Do List, that’s where I was, right? I decided that actually sitting at my desk might put me in the right frame of mind to make the damned thing already but then I was stuck: brain map or numbered? And if it was a brain map, what colors should I use? And who used my neon green highlighter and left the cap off? We have extras in the hall closet, right? Well, no, as it turned out we don’t because oldest used them for a geography project and told me last month. I wrote it down on my To Do List for December under Stuff To Buy and I know I did because I found the list in the hall closet, and it’s right there underneath light bulbs. Do we still need light bulbs? I think we do.

The other thing I love about slow cookers? They’re forgiving. You can shoot for six hours but, if you happen to spend an hour or so totally distracted, it’s isn’t a tragedy if you miss it. The pork was delicious, the sauerkraut was not (but I didn’t expect it to be), the mashed potatoes I managed to finish in there somewhere were pretty good. Yeah. Anyway, I hope you had a lovely holiday, no matter what you got up to doing. Make any resolutions? I’d share mine but I can’t decide between the many I need to make. I’ll be back later, maybe you guys could suggest something? Comments are open.







8 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Servetus
    Jan 02, 2015 @ 21:51:45

    Wow, you cover a lot of ground in there. I’m a bit winded, just reading this. But wait: sauerkraut? You hate sauerkraut? I think you should resolve to learn to love sauerkraut for 2015. Or 2016 at the latest.

    Liked by 1 person


  2. richardtreehouse
    Jan 02, 2015 @ 22:18:13

    I can so relate to the lost on the internet. It’s amazing how many things you can look up lol! I have started avoiding Pinterest because I become overwhelmed 😉

    I dislike sauerkraut as well. The only thing is I like Reuben sandwiches which have sauerkraut, corned beef and Russian dressing all of which I dislike. I can’t figure it out 😀

    Liked by 1 person


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